Safety Information

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  • Disconnect the battery before performing any electrical work but make sure you have the radio, cell phone memory codes etc. or you will be sorry when you reconnect the battery..........
  • Do not "re-use" self-locking nuts or any other automotive fasteners that are designed to be used only once. They may end up killing YOU and your loved ones when that important part on your car falls off and you go careening out of control....... .
  • Beware of rotating machinery, Neck Ties, Gold chains and Peace Signs worn around your neck will hang you at the most embarrassing moments while working on a running engine.
  • Your fingers "will" fit between the drive belts and the pulley when the engine is running and they won't look the same when they come out.
  • Flying metal shrapnel can pierce your clothing, eyes and main organs. Use caution when wielding a large hammer and chisels, Wear eye protection and carry adequate health insurance.
  • Rags, jacket sleeves, loose clothing, and anything attached to them, will be ruined if they get snagged in the engine pulleys while it is running.
  • Rotating Radiator fan blades make the Ronco Vegamatic look like a children's toy. Watch your fingers!
  • Spinning Drill presses have gobs of torque and can catch and curl your hair like the best beauty salon in town.
  • Coolant, Brake Fluid, Gasoline, brake cleaning spray, Carb Cleaning spray, and engine oil are not designed to be in your eyes. Wear safety glasses and continue to see the world in a whole new light!
  • Friction materials from brake and Clutch linings may contain asbestos, or other lung clogging dusty items, wear an approved dust mask and avoid creating any dust clouds.
  • DO NOT use compressed air to clean dust off brake linings or clutch disc assemblies, the filters in your lungs are not replaceable.....
  • Do not use compressed air anywhere near your ears, as you may get to listen to the echo inside your head.
  • Your beloved pet will drink just about anything lying on the garage floor, much to their dismay. Please.....Mop up any spilled engine coolant or oils to prevent foaming at the mouth.......
  • Repairing vehicles with a dry cleaning plastic bag over your head, may cause suffocation. Keep these bags out of reach when venturing under the hood......
  • Do not repair your vehicle while under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or your friends advice.
  • Don't work on your car when your girlfriend or wife wants to go out to dinner, your sex life will suffer.
  • Buckle up (your pants) and save yourself from certain embarrassment while working on your car.
  • Make sure you are working on level ground before working on your car, and be sure to block the wheels to prevent the car from rolling over your foot and crushing your big toe.
  • All cars weigh enough to crush you like an rotten egg and stop your breathing till you are dead. Use appropriate jack stands for supporting the vehicle anytime you venture underneath it!
  • Do not use cinder blocks, hollow tiles, termite infested wood, old beer kegs, dixie cups, balls of yarn, old milk crates, bean bag chairs or some other whimpy prop to hold up your car, which could fail and squeeze the life out of you.
  • Transmissions and Engines when combined with the forces of gravity, can cut your fingers to the bone. Use an appropriate engine hoist or a transmission jack when removing these LARGE items from your vehicle.
  • Razor knifes, screwdrivers and sharp awls can bring a whole new meaning to body piercing if used improperly.
  • Rings, and watches, nipple rings, etc. make great heating elements when shorted between the starter battery connection and engine ground. Remove all jewelry when working on your car and disconnect the battery when doing electrical repairs.
  • Lead Acid Vehicle Batteries can produce hydrogen gas when they are being charged, avoid any open flames or sparks near the top of the battery or it will blow its top and give you a free acid face peeling!
  • Cooling system hoses can blow open at any time, giving you a nice shower with boiling hot coolant or steam under 15psi of pressure. This ain't no golden shower! Wear Goggles and appropriate protective clothing while working under the hood when the engine is hot.
  • CAUTION: gasoline fumes are prone to explode at any time, Do not work on the fuel system in an enclosed garage area, or in any living spaces, outhouse, henhouse, hot tub, jacuzzi or swimming pool, especially if your friends smoke or your gas water heater/clothes dryer has an open flame.
  • Loosening Fuel Filter fittings will often spray fuel in your eyes just like a spitting Cobra, cover the fitting with a rag as you loosen it and wear eye protection.....
  • Incandescent "Drop" light bulbs, make a great ignition source when dropped near a pool of gasoline created while changing a fuel filter. Third degree burns are not the best way to make new friends!!
  • Never electrically test an electric fuel pump that has been removed from a vehicles fuel tank, making sparks with a battery around a device that pumps out gasoline under high pressure will burn you and everything around you sooooo so bad, that even joining the hair club for men won't begin to fix your hair and all that burnt up skin....No Kidding!
  • Carbon Monoxide will put you to sleep "forever" and will make the latest headlines. Find some other way to get your 15 minutes of fame. Ensure proper ventilation when your engine is running in any enclosed garage or space.
  • Be mindful of the environment and ecology, do not pour used engine oil or coolant onto the ground, over your head, down your shorts, or on your wife and children, even if they are driving you crazy while you work on your car.
  • Neoprene gloves may protect your hands from absorbing potentially dangerous solvents, gasoline, oils or other nasty fluids while you work on your car. Inexpensive latex gloves can be used when performing other automotive repairs that don't involve contact with gasoline or other petroleum solvents but.....
  • Some vehicles are equipped with Supplemental Restraint Systems (SRS) that are designed to automatically deploy airbag(s) or seat belt tensioning devices. Make sure you and your children are seated far enough out of the way when they go off!
  • Airbags are explosive devices, so always follow the factory recommended procedures for removal and installation. Always store unmounted Airbags with the finished face pointing upwards, or you may inadvertently become the next missile commander on your block.
  • Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear when you are spinning backwards out of control, drive an Audi Quattro, and avoid this problem....
  • Successfully repairing cars, is a lot like making love: go slow, listen carefully, pay attention to details, read the manuals, and if in doubt, ask for directions....sometimes you don't get a second chance.....
  • Your mileage may vary.

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