WARNINGS AND CAUTIONS!
DETAILS, DETAILS, DETAILS.....
- Disconnect the battery before performing any electrical work but
make sure you have the radio, cell phone memory codes etc. or you
will be sorry when you reconnect the battery..........
- Do not "re-use" self-locking nuts or any other automotive fasteners
that are designed to be used only once. They may end up killing YOU
and your loved ones when that important part on your car falls off
and you go careening out of control....... .
- Beware of rotating machinery, Neck Ties, Gold chains and Peace Signs
worn around your neck will hang you at the most embarrassing moments
while working on a running engine.
- Your fingers "will" fit between the drive belts and the pulley when
the engine is running and they won't look the same when they come
out.
- Flying metal shrapnel can pierce your clothing, eyes and main organs.
Use caution when wielding a large hammer and chisels, Wear eye protection
and carry adequate health insurance.
- Rags, jacket sleeves, loose clothing, and anything attached to them,
will be ruined if they get snagged in the engine pulleys while it
is running.
- Rotating Radiator fan blades make the Ronco Vegamatic look like
a children's toy. Watch your fingers!
- Spinning Drill presses have gobs of torque and can catch and curl
your hair like the best beauty salon in town.
- Coolant, Brake Fluid, Gasoline, brake cleaning spray, Carb Cleaning
spray, and engine oil are not designed to be in your eyes. Wear safety
glasses and continue to see the world in a whole new light!
- Friction materials from brake and Clutch linings may contain asbestos,
or other lung clogging dusty items, wear an approved dust mask and
avoid creating any dust clouds.
- DO NOT use compressed air to clean dust off brake linings or clutch
disc assemblies, the filters in your lungs are not replaceable.....
- Do not use compressed air anywhere near your ears, as you may get
to listen to the echo inside your head.
- Your beloved pet will drink just about anything lying on the garage
floor, much to their dismay. Please.....Mop up any spilled engine
coolant or oils to prevent foaming at the mouth.......
- Repairing vehicles with a dry cleaning plastic bag over your head,
may cause suffocation. Keep these bags out of reach when venturing
under the hood......
- Do not repair your vehicle while under the influence of alcohol,
drugs, or your friends advice.
- Don't work on your car when your girlfriend or wife wants to go
out to dinner, your sex life will suffer.
- Buckle up (your pants) and save yourself from certain embarrassment
while working on your car.
- Make sure you are working on level ground before working on your
car, and be sure to block the wheels to prevent the car from rolling
over your foot and crushing your big toe.
- All cars weigh enough to crush you like an rotten egg and stop your
breathing till you are dead. Use appropriate jack stands for supporting
the vehicle anytime you venture underneath it!
- Do not use cinder blocks, hollow tiles, termite infested wood,
old beer kegs, dixie cups, balls of yarn, old milk crates, bean bag
chairs or some other whimpy prop to hold up your car, which could
fail and squeeze the life out of you.
- Transmissions and Engines when combined with the forces of gravity,
can cut your fingers to the bone. Use an appropriate engine hoist
or a transmission jack when removing these LARGE items from your vehicle.
- Razor knifes, screwdrivers and sharp awls can bring a whole new
meaning to body piercing if used improperly.
- Rings, and watches, nipple rings, etc. make great heating elements
when shorted between the starter battery connection and engine ground.
Remove all jewelry when working on your car and disconnect the battery
when doing electrical repairs.
- Lead Acid Vehicle Batteries can produce hydrogen gas when they are
being charged, avoid any open flames or sparks near the top of the
battery or it will blow its top and give you a free acid face peeling!
- Cooling system hoses can blow open at any time, giving you a nice
shower with boiling hot coolant or steam under 15psi of pressure.
This ain't no golden shower! Wear Goggles and appropriate protective
clothing while working under the hood when the engine is hot.
- CAUTION: gasoline fumes are prone to explode at
any time, Do not work on the fuel system in an enclosed garage area,
or in any living spaces, outhouse, henhouse, hot tub, jacuzzi or swimming
pool, especially if your friends smoke or your gas water heater/clothes
dryer has an open flame.
- Loosening Fuel Filter fittings will often spray fuel in your eyes
just like a spitting Cobra, cover the fitting with a rag as you loosen
it and wear eye protection.....
- Incandescent "Drop" light bulbs, make a great ignition source when
dropped near a pool of gasoline created while changing a fuel filter.
Third degree burns are not the best way to make new friends!!
- Never electrically test an electric fuel pump that
has been removed from a vehicles fuel tank, making sparks with a battery
around a device that pumps out gasoline under high pressure will burn
you and everything around you sooooo so bad, that even joining the
hair club for men won't begin to fix your hair and all that burnt
up skin....No Kidding!
- Carbon Monoxide will put you to sleep "forever" and will make the
latest headlines. Find some other way to get your 15 minutes of fame.
Ensure proper ventilation when your engine is running in any enclosed
garage or space.
- Be mindful of the environment and ecology, do not pour used engine
oil or coolant onto the ground, over your head, down your shorts,
or on your wife and children, even if they are driving you crazy while
you work on your car.
- Neoprene gloves may protect your hands from absorbing potentially
dangerous solvents, gasoline, oils or other nasty fluids while you
work on your car. Inexpensive latex gloves can be used when performing
other automotive repairs that don't involve contact with gasoline
or other petroleum solvents but.....
DO NOT USE LATEX GLOVES IF YOU SUSPECT YOU MAY HAVE AN ALLERGIC REACTION
TO LATEX RUBBER
- Some vehicles are equipped with Supplemental Restraint Systems (SRS)
that are designed to automatically deploy airbag(s) or seat belt tensioning
devices. Make sure you and your children are seated far enough out
of the way when they go off!
- Airbags are explosive devices, so always follow the factory recommended
procedures for removal and installation. Always store unmounted Airbags
with the finished face pointing upwards, or you may inadvertently
become the next missile commander on your block.
- Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear when you are spinning
backwards out of control, drive an Audi Quattro, and avoid this problem....
- Successfully repairing cars, is a lot like making love: go slow,
listen carefully, pay attention to details, read the manuals, and
if in doubt, ask for directions....sometimes you don't get a second
chance.....
- Your mileage may vary.
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